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Day Three Hundred Fifty Four (Year Four)

So many of my weekends come to a close with me wishing for "just one more day in the weekend."  This would be another one of those weekends.  I am eleven days from the end of year four of this project, and instead of celebrating what I've accomplished this year (far more than in years past, in spite of some slow progress the last month or two), I'm beating myself up over the progress I haven't made yet.  It's not healthy, I know, but it's true. 

I'm telling myself that year five needs to be the breakthrough year, the time when everything just sort of falls into place, and I'm knowing that I've held that hope at the start of each of the last four years too.  I need to focus on the positives, the strides that I've made, but it gets so frustrating to feel like I'm so close to being where I'd like to be... only to know that I'm not quite there yet.  This is the thing that keeps me coming back, day after day, it's the story of the redemptive power of music, and the hope that it gives each and every one of us every single day.  Deep down, I know that it doesn't matter whether I get there at 34 or 54, it just matters that I get there.  I know that it's a journey, and that it will be all that much sweeter when I reach my goals.

It was good to get some work done tonight, to take another step along the path.  It was good to get a bit more insight into how far I've come, and how far there still is to go.  What I'd really like is to get to the point where I'm not wishing for one more day in the weekend.

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