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Day One Hundred Forty Two

So, I haven't been sleeping much lately, and I've been staying up late. listening to music, doing a bit of playing, and watching old episodes of Behind The Music on the internet. It's funny, you know, because I never met the rest of my "band," I've become the critic. It's all right, don't get me wrong, but for a decade now I've always hoped that I'd find a way to release something. It'll happen, I know it will, but it's continually happened slower than I expected it to. I've gotten close to getting something released, as I've documented before here before, but with the winter coming and the cold closing in, I'm facing another chance to make something musical of the winter. I'm going to start by finishing up the old things that have gotten pushed to the sides in the last few months. With the buildup of everything since the summer, it should be easier. Even if all I do is spend the winter writing lyrics, trying to get my mind around everything that's happened of late. Hiding inside is going to be a perfect opportunity to improve my skills, and I'm actually looking forward to it. In the past, the winter has depressed me, but now that there's a definitive goal in mind, I think it'll help me.

Off tomorrow, and am diving back into "Stairway."

I know I kind of ranted for a bit there, but I think I needed it.

So, sure enough, I finished writing, and only then do I figure out what the truth of it is... I think the reason I'm needing to finish that hard rock project so badly is that mentally those songs were supposed to be the thing that kept me from going through all of the rough times that I likely knew were coming out of all that has happened in the last three years. They were supposed to keep me away from all of that, and when that didn't happen...

That may well be crazy, but finishing those old songs, that old project, kind of feels like putting the final few bricks in the wall that was originally started to protect me.

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